Introduction to Internet Bullying

2011 Prologue to the 2005 article:
 
   There has been some information and interest about bullying in the news lately. Mostly as it pertains to, is directed at and toward, and executed by, children, which has been a concern for decades for some people, and is only now finding some apparent relevance as an "issue".
   Although this article mostly discusses adult-based bullying, and particularly as it pertains to the Internet as a realm of activity, all bullying is related, whether it is Internet-based, "in real life", local, remote, school or workplace -oriented, etc., and whether the target/victim and/or perpetrator is an adult or a child. (of any sex, race, age, gender, sexual persuasion, ethnicity, nationality, religious affiliation, and so on...)
   Emotional and mental violence are finally getting "the respect" and attention they deserve, as equally valid forms of violence that should not be tolerated, excused, or condoned by an advanced, modern-day society and civilization. Bullying, or perhaps a better, more descriptive term would be Terrorizing, or Tormenting, is societally widespread, pervasive, and endemic, and it is past time for it to stop and be stopped. – PTB

The following information on (adult/non-child) bullying and bullies does not make as much mention of the all-too-common practice and instance of "Internet Bullying" as it should, imo. It is basically the same as the other forms of bullying, and may even be more pervasive and common today than other forms of bullying as described below. (except, perhaps, in the work place, in all of the many forms that takes)

All forms of bullying are equally wrong and hurtful, however. No matter where they are acted out, or who the targets are. They are, essentially, acts of (very unnecessary) violence toward others. Emotional and mental violence is just as wrong and hurtful as physical violence. And injustice should always be replaced with justice. The quantity of instances can be debated, but the existence is absolute fact. Even one bully is one too many. Thankfully, "bullying", in all of its forms, is ever increasingly being acknowledged world-wide for the terrible thing it is.

Note that perhaps "bully" and "bullying" should be replaced by a new, more descriptive word or phrase for these adult people and their actions. Bully is descriptive, and is used as a generic term. When we hear and read the word "bully", however, most people will most likely think of a grammar school playground incident concerning children. Although there is usually quite a bit of immaturity involved in adult bullying (or non-child bullying), the more egregious actions and their affects in the more widespread use of bullying scenarios and their perpetrators deserves a better word.

Perhaps "harasser" would be better-used. The denotation and connotation of harasser seems to be more descriptive of the adult-oriented bullying I am referring to here. And it can also be used generically to refer to all bullies and bullyism, as well. (harass, harasser, harassing, harassment — other potential better words: persecute, persecutor, persecuting, persecution and torment, tormentor, tormenting, torment)

When bullying is done over and through the Internet, the number of potential targets is greater because of the extremely large community. Due to the nature of the Internet, it is also possible to bully groups of people, as well as individuals. It is cheap and easy, sitting at their keyboard and monitor, and the bully can perform most of their acts anonymously (for the most part), which works for them, being the ultimate and essential cowards they tend to be. (plus, when 'brought into the light of day', most bullies are embarrassed by their actions, and so do not want those who know them to know about their activities, so anonymity is often very important to them, for a number of reasons)

There are some notable differences with the Internet bully, however. Their attacks tend to be written, rather than verbal. And, of course, remote rather than in-person. They can use all forms of Internet communication, such as discussion forums (very common), chat rooms (IRC), e-mail, "immediate messaging", news groups, web pages, and any other forms available. Since the Internet is ever-changing and growing so quickly, there will always be new methods arising.

And all from the comfort of their home, without having to travel, and with little cost. (an Internet connection and a computer system is all that is needed — and those who do not have this fairly wide-spread electronic convenience can almost as easily use the local library, Internet cafe, school, college, or university, or even place of work)

Combating Internet bullies (or any others) is not easy. Because what they do is usually not illegal, just unethical, there is often not much that can be done. Using "official channels", anyway. (more about that below) And even if their actions do slip over the line into illegality, it is also usually either very difficult, or nearly impossible, to get someone to help the target/victim. Unless their actions become extreme enough that the police, and/or some other legal entity/agency, will listen to you. And even then, because of jurisdictions (the bully and target can live in different cities, states, or even countries), it may not be possible, or feasible, for legal authorities to do anything.

Sometimes, if the actions of the bully are vile and egregious enough, their Internet provider can be contacted, and that may temporarily stop them. If you can find out who this is and who they are. There are ways to make yourself nearly invisible (effectively anonymous) on the Internet, requiring a judicial search warrant to discover identities. Which is the way it should be, and the Internet bully will use this to hide behind and feel safe.

But they can just sign up with another provider. And they will also be upset afterward, as well, which may cause them to increase the quantity, level, and degree of their attacks against their target(s). Especially if they think, or know, their target is the one who caused them the temporary interruption of their Internet connection, which is their bullying life's-blood, if you will.

Bullies do not like their targets to 'fight back'. They like them to cower, 'run away', and other similar actions. (however those target-actions can be executed in the Internet-sense, and/or 'in real life' — note that it is a common theme that Internet bullies (wrongly) consider the Internet to NOT be "real life" — typical of their aberrant viewpoints, attitudes and behaviors) Often, they just want their targets to act out in apprehension, irritation, anger, outright fear, and other similar responses.

On a personal note, the only effective means to combating Internet bullyism I've found is to stand up to them. Go on the offense, and take the 'fight' right back to them in any, and every, way possible. All the while attempting to not lower yourself to their levels, which can be difficult when the 'fight' gets 'down and dirty'. Which it probably will, because bullies do not take kindly to being 'bullied back', if you will, for lack of a better term. Their attacks will often increase in quantity and degree, and in manner, as well.

For the record, 'bullied back' really isn't the correct term to use — perhaps "anti-bullied" is more appropriate. Never forget that they are the initial aggressors. You are merely fighting back, for yourself, and/or for someone else. Do not forget that self-protection and the protection of others are valid legal concepts, and equally valid ethically.

Giving the bully a taste of their own medicine, force-fed, if needs be, can be very effective. (especially if laced with actual humor of various forms) At best, it will increase their too-low levels of empathy and compassion and understanding. At worst, it will simply cause them to cease and desist, if only because "it's not fun anymore". (note that 'hurting others' is never fun, for anyone, even for bullies and their ilk — what seems like fun to them is merely an aberration, and is due, in part, to their unfortunate mental and emotional problems and issues — what they really need from us is pity, as well as being stopped for their own good)

Caution: Fighting back and against bullies and bullyism is not for the faint of heart or low in spirit. It is not easy, and, if you are the type of person who does not have the strongest will, demeanor, and such, you are liable to suffer from some of the negative affects of coming into contact with these types of people.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, faults and frailties, time and energy, and that sort of thing. But it helps to have a fairly strong constitution, if you will. Maturity helps, as does a well-developed sense of humor, a positive self-image, good sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, and a balanced ego. If you are that type of person, then the achievement of stopping a bully from hurting yourself and/or others is empowering and feels good. Knowing you are in the right, and doing a good thing, also helps. (regardless of where you are at, they are undoubtedly weaker in so many ways on so many more levels — that is who and what they are, and partly why they do what they do)

So know that there are some great rewards for your hard work, should you choose to go this route. In my case, it's all good, and whatever mild irritations I might have had to deal with, I assure you that those with whom I dealt are much more scarred, threadbare and worse off, mostly due to their own behaviors and attitudes, of course. I came through unscathed, for the better, even more resolute, and with flying colors. Them: not so much.

It might take some time, but, eventually, I believe that 'good' and 'right' will always win out over unnecessary, unethical meanness, hurtfulness, negativity and violence. And it is important for everyone to fight against 'bad things', such as unnecessary violence, injustice, and similar problems and issues, as much as possible, in as many ways as possible, everywhere possible. For yourself, and for others. To help make the world a better place for us all.

I have made some emphases below to point out parts, and included sections, that are particularly pertinent to "Internet Bullies". This is merely a small part of the whole which can be found by clicking on the links given. Note that the following is from a British source and uses British English spellings.