Popeye Theophilus Barrnumb presents....

But, first, a word from our sponsors.   (January 1, 2011)

Popeye Theophilus Barrnumb presents Popeye Theophilus Barrnumb.
 
      The Finale.


 

See the script below.
(this video was made with the now-defunct XtraNormal.com, a site for making 3D animated movies)

 

Now, you may continue on to My old site, if you have the intestinal fortitude.
 
Please take careful note that it is a true descent into Hell.
That is, you will be reading it chronologically "backwards" much of the time.
Knowing this may allow you to understand the sequence of events more readily.
Good luck with that. (but, "Hell" in most other ways, as well)
 
Just never forget, as you read along, that "We" are the "good guys",
and "they" were and are the most vile, disgusting, worthless pieces
of shit trash scumbags to ever be born onto this Earthly realm.
 
I'm seriously not kidding. It was actually that bad.
 
However, we beat the Unholy Living Shit-Crap out of them,
bloodied up their assholes and souls and other bodily orifices,
both literally (in our mind's eye) and figuratively (mostly),
as they well-deserved, for all of the terrible things they did
and tried to do. (they were so stupid they failed most of the time)
 
As I write this after-log in November of 2011,
the 'world' has finally come to its senses,
in the sense that "bullying" is getting the shit-kicking and
attention it deserves. Not as much as it should, but baby-steps.
In the infamous words of the beautiful blonde in the TV commercial:
    "Travis! You're years too late!!"
But, better late than never.
("some of us" were apparently visionaries in this regard)

 

The Script for "The Finale", a.k.a. "The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing Butt The Truth"

Over the underlying music, "Lara's Theme", the generic name given to a leitmotif written for the film "Doctor Zhivago" (1965) by composer Maurice Jarre, soon afterward becoming the basis of the song "Somewhere, My Love", played on a Music Box the size and magnificence of The Mighty Wurlitzer.

Popeye:   Wolverine! We have vanquished them all. The lowlife scum are no more, not unlike Dead Parrots. The Mikey Whore-lickers. They do not even deserve acknowledgement or remembrance, really. All they are and were is a stain upon the world. Good RidDance!

Wolverine:   Yes, Popeye. They were worthless pieces of shit trash scumbags, were they not? We bwitch-slapped them so hard they pissed and shit themselves silly. We have won, as we knew we would.

Popeye:   And almost single-handedly. It was quite a bit easier than I thought it would be. We sure had fun, though, did we not? Even though they were not much of a fight. Oh, well. Whatever.

Wolverine:   I Laugh Out Loud (LOL) at them. And I Roll On The Floor Laughing (ROTFL), as well. And then I spit on them. As it should be.

Popeye:   Yes. We should perform the Danse of Joy™. Preferably on their graves. What a bunch of loser idiots they were. Frankly, I do not even think about them anymore, unless someone brings it up. How funny is that?

Wolverine:   Quite hilarious, indeed. I, too, never even think about them. How easy it was to forget that they even existed at all, as they do not now. Boo-Yah!

Popeye:   Let that be a lesson to want-to-be bullies, cyber-bullies on the Internet, and so-called In Real Life (IRL) bullies. Oh, yeah. That's right. Count on it. *snicker*

Wolverine:   They should have known better than to mess with Popeye Theophilus Barrnumb. There is a reason why you are known as The God of Skinny Punks. (TGOSP)

Popeye:   I could not have done it without you, Wolverine. We make a great team. You, I, and the others – Popeye, Incorporated. May It Rest In Peace. As we have brought Peace upon the world in our own little way. And now, onward and upward. Without further adieu, or thought of the lesser beings who unfortunate this world.

Fini: Triumphant musical fanfare flourish.